Saturday, June 7, 2014

Are you in the right relationship with the right person?


When someone falling in love, they never expect it to fail. You get in to a relationship with great expectations on love filled with hopes & promises. But, as you can see out there, all the relationships are not going all right. Some exist for the sake of a relationship.

Sometimes, you may know that this is not going to work, but still you want it, so…you justify any crazy thing your partner does and try to stay cool hanging on to the relationship with a lot of expectations. At some point, this may work for few days and again you suffer as the same before.

What do you feel in your relationship? Are you happy with it, or unhappy? 
Here are few signs that can help you to understand whether it's worth to hold on or just let it go, rather than hurting yourself.

# The connection – You never know why your relationship is going on. There is no romance, both live in separate worlds. No one knows what the other is doing. Both just exist. Even you also wonder  “What the heck I’m doing?, Is this a relationship ?”

# Hurting – You feel hurt, even when he talks you get hurt, even he doesn’t, you get hurt. Sometimes you don’t know why you are hurt exactly. Or you are hurting yourself, thinking about him, so deeply.

# No future – Perhaps your relationship is great, both of you love each other in good manner. But when you are all alone, you may feel…what is the future of this relationship? You cannot see any future for this. And you may feel, at any moment, this relationship would collapse.

# Togetherness –  Your partner doesn’t pay good attention to your day to day life. He or she may not be actively engaged in day to day life. Even, when you need them to be involved in some of your events , they don’t to do so. 

# Physical attraction – Sometimes, you can’t remember the last day  that you made love to your partner. In the bedroom, when you want to be romantic, your partner may prefer to turn aside and fall a sleep. 

# Trust –  No more trust, you or your partner doesn’t trust each other. There may be valid reasons for this. But rather than discussing these issues, still you carry the relationship with the suspicious minds. 

# Different lives – There may be not any meaningful conversation between you two. There is no special thing to discuss, or any topics that lead to another topic, and conversation is not interesting any more. It’s because, you don’t have any common values, ideas or desires, or any common expectations with your partner... Simply both of you live in different lives.

# Endless fights – Mostly you may argue with your partner for an issue. Then, again both of you, had enough of the fight and, calm down. And then think everything is cool. But in few days, again the same fight or argument starts for very same issue. If the same issue stagnates in your lives and fighting  continues, is there any good for long term?  
# Impressing – Your partner is pleasing other people to impress them and win their hearts. But he or she never does any of this to you to make you happy.

# Fault finders – Your partner always think that you are not good enough for them. Always finding, even tiny faults of yours and scolding at you. And your partner breaks your mind each and every day with it. And they are expecting you to change for them, because you have many faults (Fake or very tiny) and you are not good enough for them.

# Manipulating your love - Your partner may get your love and caresses for advantages. Your partner may know that you never leave them. And they do what they want to do without thinking about your feelings. Even when you suffer upon what they do, they will do that, because they know you don’t leave them.  

# Company is not joyful – When both of you together, you may feel uncomfortable. Sometime you may feel it’s boring and rather good to be with your friends.

# No respect at all – Your partner is paying enough respect for you? And do you do the same for him or for her? It’s not just because of your partner, but for their individualities? Respect will play a major role in a relationship. But remember respect is not love.  

# Insecure personalities - People who are having insecure personalities never confront their partner. Instead of confronting you, they try to point out your faults (fake) and try to make guilty situation in your mind of what you are doing.

# Holding something? – You are in the relationship, because both of you want to carry some baggage, bond or something? And upon that you think, happiness will come in near future? 

Honestly…how many signs of above, that you can see in your relationship? 
How many of these signs are totally applicable to you? 
Now…you have to decide what to do!

By Manu Fernando.
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