Friday, March 28, 2014

Love Post Card


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Oh, Dear Post Card, you arrived on time, as usual, you arrived on the right time when I lie here dying. I was guessing it to be a Letter with an envelope, from the day he asked for my address. It arrived when I was having breakfast. The old man said :

« Here is a letter for you, your much awaited letter ».

I was talking to the old man's sister & could not be surprised in front of her or collapse to the floor. So, as if it was all casual, I left aside the post card , like one leaves the candies aside to be sucked alone when there is no one around. I came to the room with such a serenity, slowly as if nothing has happened, counting the stairs , gazing at the TV set where the old man leaves all the letters for the students, holding the trophy with a certain pride. I entered to my little research laboratory as if I was going to dissect the frog on the post card.

Why did not he write a letter? But a post card? Oh women are never satisfied! Isn't the letter & the post card, all same? It is same. When you want to believe, it is the same. Don't they read, those postmen what is written on the post cards? It is for me, all to me , not to be read by wretched postmen who don't come on time! Oh , no post men here they don't read English , tant pis, if they knew what was written here? I can only have sympathy for the educated. Well, it means no one ever read it, I am the first one to read what he wrote. Well, what about the women in the post offices? You know, some women get so jealous when they see some sort of romantic messages. Thank God, this post card escaped those cruel witches.

Let's have a look at the front page. Do post cards have pages? No. Oh, the front side. It is a frog! Now who is the frog here? Did the frog remind of me to him? Or is it him , the frog? But, why a frog? May be I talk a lot, frogs do croak all the time for no reason and it is a headache. But, he is not that cruel to compare me to a frog. But wait , it is a beautiful frog I have never seen a such a beautiful frog in my whole life, the other day at the restaurant I was right not to eat the frog legs, disgusting these French. Oh no, I should never talk bad about French, after all he is french, what to do he was born like that , but I don't think he eats frog legs, he is not that cheap. Well, what if he eats? It is OK, one should eat everything, so should he. It is not the end of the world, frog legs. And there is a red colour flower too. He knows the meaning of the colours, Red, I knew he would send me a red colour flower, see I was always right! But he did not send me flowers? Come on sending, copy pasting, painting, they are all same. What if he chose another post card with yellow or white flower? You ask too much all the time, that is the problem here. The tilte says Faune de Guyane. Godness, how little I know about Faune de Guyane! Let me Google it, I have never googled about a frog in my whole life, now the circumstances made me to do so. I should read a lot about Guyane & do a whole research on Guyane so that when he comes back, he can not surprise me any more, the poor thing, ha ha. He has always something to surprise me so that I open my mouth wide, eyes gleam & no wonder he thinks I am a blonde with black hair. Now this frog, I will like him forever, I wish I can get a Dentrobate Tinctorius as a pet, because I find it really cute.

I think, I should read now what he has written. Should I hurry myself? Tomorrow is the exam, did I study anything for Traduction Créative or did I prepare the speech? How can I make him proud when I fail a test like the last time? But, he did not scold me when I failed the exam, he looked cool. So, why worry? He is not my father to ask about my results! But then again, it is not good for my image because it will confirm him again that I am a born blonde. Wait, next time I will show him my academic records, full of A+, A, he would say Wow, Pussy cat ! But then again , he would never believe, he is that type, he is neither happy nor sad, that is his nature, even if I pass or fail , he will still be same. Moreover, intelligent people do not behave like the way I do, they are all composed, serene, full of knowledge. Where is the post card?

Let me start to read. Hello. I stop there, why does he call me Hello? I am not a telephone. It is not romantic. Hello, so ordinary, Why can't he write Dear, Darling? I know why because I use the same words and he does not want to copy me! He is not like the other guys who waste words, he uses words when it is necessary. But, wait! he says Hello Pussy Cat! Why did not I see that part, may be because I tried to read quickly. Pussy Cat sounds good, the word of endearment, in old English. He likes all these sweet words from Shakespearean days, he loves like him, that is why he used the word Pussy Cat. Let me think again. But the other day , I saw the word Pussy in a website, some sort of a bad website, where there are wet pussies. I don't think it is the same pussy here, here it is a pussy cat, like the normal cat , meaw, meaw, the four legged one? The adorable one? Are cats adorable? The only thing they do is to scratch the master and be indifferent all the time when we try to cuddle. Did not I cuddle him enough? May be it his message to tell me that I should cuddle him more even though I am a pussy cat. I should not be proud all the time, you see.

Then he continues. Now, I am shivering to write it here because he really meant what he wrote! Too much of anything is not good for you baby. Is it a warning? No, I don't think because there is no exclamation mark. He never warns me, he the sweet type unlike the idiot that I used to have. Then this is a general opinion. From where did he find this motivational phrase? Nowadays, we copy paste from websites all those intellectual quotes to show that we are wise, but then again he does not have internet like me , I mean when he was in the post office. So, this is real, this is written to me? Let me read again, Too much, ahh I knew he would feel it because I did not act like a lady, anything, it can be anything like Nutella or mustard cream . But he is not a dietician. Can "anything be everything? You know things are tangible, any thing means things that are tangible. It is good I really got what he said, it means I should be careful with my diet. Or you know stop drinking wine, too much wine. He said for you, It means he cares for me, for me! It is special he did not say , too much of anything is not good for anyone, but for me, he even write the word baby, for you baby. So lovely! By the way are feelings considered as things? I am sure not!

He continues the letter, no I mean the post card, Yet, looking forward to seeing you loveliest one. Aww, what a beautiful phrase ! But where is the subject? Is the subject important? Look idiot, it is the same person who writes, there is no need to repeat the subject in grammar. But where on earth on this letter, he has mentioned a subject? Did he start with I , no. There is no I. Then who is looking forward to see me? Idiot, look down , he has signed! Oh thank god, I am calm now. It means it is him who is looking forward to see me. Who else? Do you think his father wrote this to you? Does he know that I stalk his father? I think that is too much information. Father is cute too, all rose like roses , Like father, like son, I am becoming wise! Loveliest one, that is the best part, the superlative adjective. I am flattered, I shoud pretend Oh, no don't say like that, I am not the loveliest. I am humble, you know and bit stupid too !

Then he finishes, oh no, I am already at the end of this terrible long letter, dit post card, time flies like rockets. Kiss, in & outs. That is like a monkey kiss! No, you woman how dare you think about that animal when you think about him? In & outs means , everything inside, & everything outside. Ha ha, that is very intimate so I should never show this post card to my sister because she is still so young. What would she think about him when she reads in & outs, bad impression on him, I know she would imagine naughty things, see I am already red. Perhaps I would show the frog but not what he wrote because it is private & highly confidential. Then, he has signed, a beautiful signature, it is the first time I see his signature, even though it has just two letters, scribbled quickly. After all, what is a signature, it is a name written quickly, until a kid told me like that I never thought about it. Kids are quite smart these days. He has written Love before the signature, it is not that important compared to the analysis I had on the frog.

Now, the left side is over. let me have a look at the right side. It takes time to move the pages. He has drawn a sun, he got real talents, better than Paul Cezanne here, yes, Sun because he has drawn the rays of the Sun. But this Sun has eyes, and a moustache. again a puzzle, he loves to give me puzzles. He wants me to revise the lessons on symbolism. Now I know where the moustache comes from, even the tiny eyes. It is like you are my sunshine, rather I am your sun shine. This Sun does not have a nose & a mouth. Strange. May be he was in a hurry to go to work, he told me so. Think wise, when did Sun have a nose & a mouth? Are you crazy? Think logically. By the way the moustache on the Sun is so cute, sunny days have been healthier for the moustache.

Then he has written my name & the address. Wow, he has taken time to write my name, that is special, I feel elated. And then it is over. How come a letter ends? It is sad, letters should not end, they should be continued. Look there is a stamp, did he use glue or his own saliva? Let me smell. Ah I guessed right, saliva, he must have rolled the tongue lightly on the stamp. Heaven. And the pen? How did he find a pen in the forest? Is he in the forest? No way. he must have asked a pen from the post officer. And then the post officer must have asked why, & then he must have replied in his sweet way, you know just to write a letter. As he is all smiling with the strangers, the post officer must have felt pity & has given him a pen. Next time, when he arrives, I should give him a pen , in case if he wants to write more letters when he is away. I don't like when he accepts others' pens!

Does this letter smell good? sometimes people use sweet smelling ink, perfumed inks, I bet he must have used one of those ink to write this long love letter. He finds things when he really wants. Sometimes, when they don't have perfumed ink , they spray their perfume a bit to the letter. Well, that is why it is bit blurred in the address area. Or did he really cry writing this letter because he misses me so much? Tears too can stain a letter. Wish, I was there to give him a tissue to wipe the tears. But, then again if I was there would he write a letter to me? There is no logic in what I think. I should give him some space to write a letter, so he can really express himself, like in this as he used all his writing techniques. I think this letter a true master piece, if they consider letters for the Nobel prize, he is sure to win it. Oh, I can just imagine, he walks up to the stage to get the prize, I will appluad, all jumping. I know he would share the prize with me because he wrote it to me. What shall I wear to the ceremony? Black does not suit me, may be Green, but it is not elegant. Should brush my teeth now to get ready.


Now, where should I display this letter? I can't just leave it on the desk like rubbish. But, I don't have a safe, do people hide letters in the safe? Should I do what others do all the time? if I hide it in the safe, no one knows it, no one looks for a letter in a safe! I am too smart today. Hold on. I should not hide it I should display in a place where I get to see it everyday, near the bed? On the bed? under the bed? in my pocket? no I don't wear jeans all the time. In the bath room before the commode? No way, imagine it falls to the toilet pit. How can I ever recover it?

I am angry. Angry because I don't have a bloody place to keep this. I can not be carrying a letter everywhere I go, there are thieves, they might snatch my bag & runaway forever. Oh God, I am confused, perplexed, overwhelmed.
Oh God, I am going to faint, this is too much pressure. Oh, God, why did he write to me? I did not ask that much from him. Actually, I don't like too much attachment. I don't like too much of anything. Did not he know that before? Who cares these stupid post cards! Poor fellow who is trying to win my heart, huh! One post card? It cost only one euro, am I that cheap? Look at him, hanging on to my bed room wall, exactly like an endangered species. I should replace it with Tim's photo , who writes me long love letters with scented perfumes, who keeps on declaring his love. Such a sweet, chap he is!

By the way, Shall I ask him to write another love letter?
In case if I loose this one? There are rats every where.

At least a Post Card?

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