Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Future bride

Dear X,

I thought to write to you because I am too overwhelmed by a wonderful news I heard today! I don't know your name, I only know you are an African & you live in London. Africa is a continent & London has a clock tower, this extra information I found all by myself!
The important news I heard was that you would be the woman of my lover. He did not mention a date though. That piece of information was enough. More than enough, I would say.

Congratulations, you won him ( scratch) you have already won him, he told that he knew you for 14 years with a lot of pride. I forgot to applaud, would do willingly if I ever meet him on the streets. I felt bad because I knew him only for one year, actually I met him less than ten times, so, you don't have to worry about it. He is very faithful, only ten times (if I counted correctly), we met suddenly at midnight on the road to my house. I don't think he planned to visit my house at all. If it was planned, then it 's a crime according to law, I guess.

I am writing to you because there is so much joy over flowing inside me. Flooded.

I did some calculations.  If he knew you for 14 years it means, he must have kissed you when I was 12. I have not even attained puberty when he made love to you ! Goodness, when he said that I was not the woman of his life,he was damn right.  Perhaps I could be the daughter of his life, if he wants to adopt me.

Forget it, there are some interesting findings about him that you might like to know. He falls sick, always on medical leave. Are you a nurse by profession? If not think wise my dear. Do you want to take care of a man who is a patient all the time, I think you should go out & enjoy your life. I already felt sorry for you, that's why I am telling all these. Whereas me, I have a professional training on traditional medicine , so it's quite easy for me to take care of him when he falls sick, so just hand him over to me, even though it is very annoying. I don't want him at all, but we can't just throw him in to the bins like a rotten potato.

And then , he loves cakes, from butter cake chocolate cakes , carrot cakes or what ever cakes, show him a cake, he would just jump on it. Think about it sweet lady, are you going to spend the rest of your life baking cakes for him ? I am just pointing out these stuff just to show that you should think deeply. As a woman it's very important to think before a marriage. In my case, I bake cakes quite often, so I would be able to feed him a cake & put to sleep, its not a big issue, because I like cakes anyways.

There is a very serious issue, he walks on ropes, seriously ! Do you want a man who walk on ropes like monkeys who would fall to the river beneath full of crocodiles? Are you kidding me ? I don't think you deserve the life of a widow on mourning clothes because of him ; just give up on him. I am seriously worried about you. Black is my favourite colour though.

I almost forgot to tell you that he does not bathe, in his noble effort to save the water for your nation! He stinks like a skunk. He is quite proud of that for no reason. Why don't you think of perfumed men in full suits ? This fellow has quick showers , wear torn clothes. How could your mom be proud of your man?There is nothing fishy here! Well, I kind of collect antiques, my nose is not that sensitive,water is very precious too.

Think wise lady, he does not have hair on the head, he is getting bold day by day. You who must be really good looking, how can you walk proudly with a bold headed man ? Very soo, you can replace your mirror to his shiny thing.They would also call him an egg. What a shame for you ! I, myself like to eat eggs for no special reason. I can't understand why.

By the way, what sort of dress you are planning to wear for your wedding? Tube dress? Or just leaves? Thinking about your potential wedding, I get goosebumps. Is it from too much happiness? I shake too & then bit of tears come out too. I feel like singing now, I should wait till the big day.
Weddings are quite expensive these days, save yourself from that extra burden. I mean if you don't get married you can save some money to rent a room at Buckingham Palace. Sometimes, I have awesome ideas like that for others. Free advises.
I also thought about a wedding present for you when I was watching a documentary on nuclear bombs. I would be glad to keep that surprise.

Anyways, I am just so happy for you & I can only wish you a lot of happiness & prosperity for a wonderful family life one day. Don't babies cry a lot? I feel awful  when they cry at night. How would you manage? I am a baby sitter , such qualities I got!

It is such a wonderful feeling that you two will be together oneday. I can be the happiest on earth to see that, you know real women are like that, pardoning, forgiving & forgetting, wishing but the best always. Ah, I almost forgot to tell you. Do you know that he gave me a blue diamond ? Don't ever be jealous, it is not good for health. In case, if you haven't got one, you better ask him. I don't know why he gave it to me. You should ask that from him too. Bit of useless information.
I can always wish your happiness it is very important to me your happiness as I am so peace loving. By the way, he gave me a gold bracelet too. I know it is just a bracelet, you should not be too worried about it at all. If you are sad, I would give it to you, so you can wear it when you are single one day.

I am a very busy person, but I thought to write theses lines for you because I can't drink champagne all alone while celebrating this precious news. He is one hell of a asshole darling whom I cherish in the bottom of my heart. Won't you two make a lovely pair? Should I really care? Can't we share? Will you dare?

No, no, no.

As I am wishing you a wonderful wedded life one day with My Darling, would you also come to my wedding with My Darling if you are ever invited?



By Jahooli Devi

Saturday, August 23, 2014


Next time 
I catch you,
will insert
a GPS chip
inside you
deep down.
Wherever you go
Satelites would do
my energy could do.

                                                                          By Jahooli Devi

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

This Love

This Love
So violent
So fragile
So tender
So hopeless
This Love
Beautiful like the day
Bad like the weather
When it's a bad day
This love so real
This love so beautiful
So happy
So merry
So pathetic
Like a child trembling with fear in the darkness
and so sure of itself
Like a calm man in the middle of the night
This love that scares the others
That makes them talk
That turns them pale
This love closely observed
Because we observe it
Killed trampled finished denied forgotten 
Because we killed wounded trampled finished denied forgot it
This complete love 
So live still
All radiant
It's yours
It's mine
As it was
This thing always new
which has not changed
As real as a plant
As trembling as a bird
As warm, as lively like the summer
Both of us can
Leave & come back
We can forget
And then fall asleep again
We wake up old, suffering 
We fall asleep again
To dream the death
And wake up smiling & laughing
all young
Our love is there
Stubborn like a donkey
Vigorous like the desire
Cruel like the memory
Stupid like the regrets
Soft like the memory
Cold like the marble
Pretty like the day
Delicate like a child
It looks at us smiling
It speaks to us with out a word
And I listen all shivering
And I cry
I cry for you
I cry for me
I beg 
For you for me and for all who love
and all who were loved
Yes, I cry 
For you for me and for all
Stay there
Where you are
Where you were before
Stay there
Don't move
Don't go away
We who are loved
We have forgotten you
You will never forget us
We only have you in this world
Don't let us be cold
Staying so far always
And nowhere
Give us a sign of life
Later at the edge of the woods
In the forest of memory
Give us your hand
And save us.

Translated by Jahooli Devi
French poem : Cet amour by Jacques Prévert

     (Image ©Sebastien Javelle)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Love Tale of the Pussy Cat & the Tiger

Pussy Cat woke up at ten in the morning, as usual.  She was bit tired of hunting Mice all night. When she was having breakfast she thought : 
" I am just too bored of this life, drinking milk in the morning & lie on the sofa all day without doing anything, How boring this world is. When Master comes , he gives an occasional cuddle, he thinks everything is perfect. Hmmm. Eating & sleeping, I don't think I would do better in the coming days. Should move around & see."

So, she came out from her villa situated at the border of the Jungle. She never went to this Jungle because it was all dark, she is such a coward! Even though the Jungle is so appealing, she never had the courage to go inside. 

When she was walking lazily, suddenly she met the Tiger.

Ah, Tiger? It was the first time she saw a live tiger. She got over excited.

To her surprise, Tiger smiled at her.

"Hi Pussy Cat? How are you?"

She got too surprised again. A real tiger talking to her, she has only seen them in the picture books of the children in the house.

"Oh, Hi Ti...Tiger, I am fine. And you?"

"I am fine too Pusy cat, so what are you up to in this bloody forest?"

"I don't know", she said timidly, "I just came to see the surroundings ."

"Good, I will show you how it is, the Jungle, if you come."

"Oh, no, I am scared, My old Master is at home, I have to be home before he comes, if not he would scold me"

"Who cares about Masters. I am the Master in the Jungle, Do you believe it or not ? "  He roared.

"Yes, yes, she said again timidly. I believe you Tiger, I would like to see the Jungle with you, very much."

"Ah, very good, then you have to come with me, right now."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, I don't have much time for hesitations, Will you come or not?"

Pussy Cat was perplexed, she had never been on a trip to the dark dark forest, but she could not refuse such an important offer from  the Tiger. To go or not to go , that was indeed the question. She never thought that she would get such a chance like that. She liked it immediately.

Then, they entered the forest.

Pussy Cat was really happy, she waited the Tiger to explain the names of the tress & the flowers, the butterflies around her. Instead, he walked all straight in his tiger way. Pussy Cat  was silent for a while, she just followed him expecting him to talk. he never talked, he looked at her from time to time just to see whether she was OK. Pussy Cat  thought that was how tigers behave. Strange!

When he was walking in front she observed the Tiger, his tail so long (Oh my God), firm head, white spots behind the ears, fiercing eyes, stout legs, broad paws.  She tried to imitate his gait, Graceful (Oh my God) to walk like a tiger, she got a bit of attitude to her head.

"Aha I am walking with the Tiger, the most powerful in the Jungle. How lucky I am."

They arrived to the den where Tiger lived.


She entered, she was not scared because she knew a tiger would not eat a pussy cat . He must have had enough preys.

Then, they sat in the den & talked for hours & hours, Pussy Cat was overwhelmed with emotions because she heard the most marvelous things in the whole universe, his hunting, his adventures, his enemies, his friends, they were all a dream world to her. She was gaping at him & could not hide it at all.

"Pussy Cat , what's your hobby? He asked calmly.

"Catch Mice", she said ashamedly, "And you?"

"Ha ha ha, Mice! ? Do you eat them too?"

"No, never, I feel sad for them."

" Ha ha ha , Very kind of you. Do you know I hunt all the Cows in your village?"

"Is it? " She pretended not to care. Yawned.  "So?"

"Do you have friends, Pussy Cat ?

"Not at all, just the Dog who annoys me all the time"

"Huh, the Dog, pretty boring! Pussy Cat , what's your favourite food, I can prepare it for you? "

"Milk", she did not have time to think.

" Ha ha ha Milk? I should have asked a Cow then!" He said all amused.

Pussy Cat  cursed herself, her own stupidity infront of the Great Tiger. 

" Grow up Pussycat, eat this chicken wing for a change"

Pussy Cat ate the chicken wing greedily, although feeling guilty "What if Old Master sees me!"

It was already night, Pussy Cat  hurried to go home.

"Tiger, I want to go home."

"Oh no not now, you can't go now because it's too dark. You can sleep here if you want"

Pussy Cat  was bit reluctant because she had never slept outside. She also wanted to be cajoled by the Tiger.

"Stay if you want", he said again.

Actually, she wanted to stay. "OK, if you say so". 

Tiger put some fireflies in the den to light it, 

"Time to sleep, you can sleep beside me. come here"

Pussy cat was the happiest, How good to sleep beside a tiger!

She looked at him he looked at her too. Jungle was all peaceful. He continued to look at her with his deep golden brown eyes. She felt a storm coming up in her stomach, her breathing accelerated. Tiger was still all calm.
She slowly moved her paw up to his paw. She touched slowly his padded paw looking for the hidden claw. Tiger didn't move he just looked blankly.
She got encouraged, she moved closer. That's how pussy cats are, all unexpected.

"Tiger, How beautiful your velvet skin? Can I touch it?"

Tiger thought for a moment before giving permission.


Prrrr, she moved her small paws in his long body.

"How strange her touch is. Divine, when her paws touch mine eventhough there are so small" Tiger thought amazed. He could not believe that a Pussy Cat  could be that soft. He was always used to rough touch by the tigress always, Little pussy cats are cute too ha. He smiled to himself.

"Touch more Pussy Cat . Here"



"Here ?! "

"Why not? Here!"

Meow. "Where else?"



"Yes, there"

She blushed.

"There, there"

"Right there?"

"Yes, right, There"


"Very good, Pussy Cat"


"Absolutely good"

"Meow, meow prr prrr"

"Now bit faster."

"Faster ?"

"Yes, Faster."

"How faster ?"

"Faster as much as you can."


She accelerated. He roared. So was the whole wide world!

"Now enough , Thank you"

"You are welcome, Tiger."

Then he fell asleep & started to snore. Pussy Cat  could not sleep the whole night because she was looking at the Tiger & was listening to his snoring too!


Following day, Tiger woke up early to go for hunting, Pussy Cat  was bit sad.

"When can I come again?"

"When I feel that I need bit of company, I am not sure about a day. Now go."

"Go now? so soon?"

"Yes, go. Bye." He disappeared.

Pussy Cat had a lump in her throat thinking she would now have to go back to her boring Villa leaving the Tiger in the jungle.

She was walking aimlessly thinking about the Tiger when she arrived near a lake.
She looked herself on the water :
For the first time, she felt ugly. She thought 

"What a beautiful whiskers Tiger got, why don't I have such long whiskers ?
Look at my horrible small teeth, Tiger has long razor sharp canines, I wish I had them too.
Look at my pale skin, no stripes at all, so boring.
I hate my small tail , no use at all.
I can only catch  stupid rats, sometimes they run away too. When can I ever be adventurous like the Tiger ?"
Meowww, she tried to roar, but she got fed up of her own yelling because it was terrible.

Whilst she was day dreaming about the Tiger, he was also bit amazed by this tiny pussy cat who dared to come to the forest with him. 
He thought :
"She got guts too eventhough all tiny & timid. Cute little ass she got! Pussy cats are not that bad, if trained properly! Poor thing, should invite her again , at least I can get a good massage."

The following day, Pussy Cat  was in front of the Tiger's den early in the morning!

Tiger was confused.

"Tigerrrr, I missed you, whole night I looked at the moon thinking about you, I wish we could go to the Moon"

Tiger just smiled thinking to himself, "she is bit crazy , I guessed it so"

"Tiger, I wanted to make you a wreath from the shining stars, so you can wear it, you would be so handsome."

Tiger thought "Pussy Cat is out of her mind, what happened to her?"

"Tiger, then we should go to the silver beach which you talked about. The most beautiful beach you know, the hidden beach, we should go there & dance."

Tiger sighed, thinking pussy cats could be bit silly like the cows he met in the village.

"Tiger, then I will kiss you & kiss you , holding tight so that all the fish in the sea would get jealous."

Tiger thought about a potential suffocation & thought it won't be a noble death for him.

"Tiger , shall we go there soon ?"

"Look Pussy Cat ,  What's wrong with you. I have to go for hunting now, will see you soon."

He left in a hurry.

Pussy Cat burst in to tears, she wanted to go the beach with Tiger but he did not show any interest, so she kept on crying aloud. 
"Tiger is cruel, he only thinks about himself, Tiger I want to go the beach now, right now, I order you, take me to the beach" She shouted, but he was nowhere to be seen.

While she was sobbing in her bitter tears Lion passed by.

"Hey, Pussy Cat ? What's up ?"

She looked at him innocently.

"Who are you ?"

"I am the Lion, King of the Jungle. Don't you know me ?"

"Lion ? Not much, I am new to the Jungle you know. But are you the King here ? "

" Yes, I am the King, no doubt at all" He said proudly.

She stopped crying  "I was with the Master of the jungle by the way. Do you know ? Tiger ? she said proudly too.

"Aha, you meet interesting folks ha. Who does not know about the cunning Tiger."

"Cunning ?"

"Forget it, why are you crying ?"

"It is none of your business, I cry because I like to cry. I am all alone no one talks to me."

Lion was touched by the plight of the Pussy Cat.

"Ohhh come here little darling. I will give you a hug. Do you know I am the King here, you can be my queen."

"The Queen ?" Nonsense , she thought.

"Yes the Queen, you will be the happiest on the earth. Would you come with me ?"

Pussy Cat rolled her eyes, hmmm King of the forest ! Is King better than a Master ? she thought again.

"I need to think first. OK, let's go for a walk first."

Lion was really happy about this cute little thing with rolling eyes.

While she was walking she looked at Lion,
"He is not that bad , even with a bit of old mane. Hmmm. But where are his stripes ? No stripes. No colours"

"Pussy Cat, I am the best in the Jungle. Everyone calls me so"

Pussy cat sighed thinking "What a boaster!, Tiger never boasted."

Pussy Cat, you should never cry because of the Tiger, he is always like that, such a cunning dude" he expressed his anger.

She started to cry again.

"Pussy Cat, I will bring you all the diamonds in the jungle, will you stop crying ?"

Diamonds ? She stopped sobbing. She thought "what I am going to do with the diamonds."

"Pussy cat, I will sing you the best songs, will you stop crying ?"

She got annoyed. "Let me cry Lion"

"Pussy Cat, I will take you the top of the mountain, so that you can see the blue blue sea far, will you stop crying ?"

"No, I am bored, I can't."

"Please, Pussy Cat, I love you"

She became bit aggressive.

"Leave me alone, for God sake." She ran away from the Lion. I don't want a boring old lion. I want the Tiger. I want, I want, I want. She decided to go back home with shattered hopes.

To her utmost surprise, she met Tiger on her way again.

"Tigerrrrr, I am so happy to see you again , I thought I lost you."

Tiger just smiled .

"Tiger, give me a kiss please, I love you"

"No way, I can't." he was disgusted.

" Oh, Tiger, you change quickly, but why ?"

" Pussy Cat, I want to tell you something."

"What ? She got excited again ! She thought that Tiger would take her to beach this time."

"It might hurt you, but I want to tell you this."

Tell me, what ? she asked batting eye lashes.

"I am in love with Black Panther , she is darn hot" 

" Tiger, I hate you" Meowwwwww!, she tried to scold but ran away weeping bitterly.

Next day, she refused to eat & drink all day along, she only looked the charcoal in the fire place. When Master was not around, she stole some charcoal and applied to her face & looked herself in the mirror.

"I think I am hot like the Black panther now, perfect black! Should do some abs too to get a hot body"
1,2,3 crunches, oh my back aches, go to hell Black Panther, I will tear you to pieces" she thought depressed. 

Following day, she woke up determined.

She went to meet the Lion. 

" Lion, I think I love you, we should get married"

Lion who was half asleep, jumped out from his den.

"Yeyyy, Pusyy cat" He gave her million kisses in one minute.

" But, first, you have to prove me your love, you shoud write me love poems on each & every tree in the forest" She said quite smartly. Go now Lion.

Lion did not hesitate a minute. He started to engrave love poems every nook & corner.

"Pussy Cat, you are my angel sent from heaven, Yours Lion" He wrote.

"Pussy Cat, you are the best, I love you to bits & tits"

"Pussy Cats , your rolling eyes get me drooling"

" Pussy Cat, shake your booty, I would go nuts" He wrote stupidly.

While he's engraving all this , Tiger passed by accidently.

What the hell you do Lion?

"Oh I am in love with tiny Pussy Cat, the adorable, she is the best in the whole universe, I am happy"

Tiger was amazed too. "Are you talking about Miss Insanity Puss? "

"Do not call my lovely darling insane, she is the most wonderful creature, we are planning our wedding"

A wedding?

Pussy cat ran towards the Lion.

"Ohh darling Lion, I searched you everywhere, Milky cookie"

Both Tiger & Lion looked at her. 

She jumped on Lion & started to kiss him as if she did not notice Tiger was there.

"Lion, Lyon, Loin my darling, she squeezed him so hard that Lion could not believe this sudden affection. Lion do you want a massage? Great Great massage there?

Lion went all red, "Pussy cat you are naughty."

Tiger got mad all at once, his blood started to boil looking at this child play as if he was not there.

Pussy cattttt! he yelled.

"Come to me baby Lion, I wanna hug you tight" Pusst cat ignored Tiger. Lion show me your tongue, awww red red tongue" She continued to play cheerfully.

"Pussy cat, I am telling you now, stop your showers of Love, I am allergic to your stupid drama" Tiger warned.

"Lion the great, I want little cubs, give me quickly cubs" Lion almost got a heart attack  because it was too ealry in the morning to be a father!

"Damn, These  pussies" Tiger started to shake.

Pussy Cat looked victoriously at Tiger & continued to cuddle Lion. 
"Bushy bushy Lion, take me to heaven, la la la " she sang light heatedly.

Tiger was infuriated about this intolerable public display of affection. His head was going to burst ,stripes were going to fall.

"Pussy Cattt, I am telling you for the very last time, Stop it."  He roared, thunder & lightening struck.

Pussy Cat stopped singing, looked straight at the Tiger.

Meowwwwww! clenched her teeth with furious eyes : Meowwwwww! She too roared furiously.

"Tigerrr, you Asshole, Can you just shut up & get lost? "

By Jahooli Devi