Sweet misery

I like her, I really like her. It’s not because of her beauty, her social status, her professional achievements or her education. I just like her… Perhaps, I may love her too. Yes…I love her.

“Do I love her?”

Yeah I love her, what the heck? I love her.

But it’s not the kind of love to obtain from one day. But to spend days with her, walk with her; hike with her, run with her or swim with her. In short, share my feelings with her. If I’m not gonna have her, why should I love her? May be I need her? Need? This is confusing.  Perhaps I want her. May be both.

She may never know the feelings I got for her. I know this may be crazy.  

Crazy? Yes…people define things as “normal” and frame it, If one does something beyond the defined frame; may be something extraordinary, people may say that person is “Crazy”. Upon that definition….So yes I’m crazy. I do some things beyond the normal. But that craziness I made up by the way that I feel. So still I’m crazy. I don’t care. Because I feel it. since I sense the craziness, Oh...that's fine.

In another way its kind a feeling that, I’m stuck with her and I’m digging deep in her to find my own grave there, when she ignores me . I don’t want to escape from this sweet misery either, maybe I love this.  I spend every day with an expectation, though it burns me alive. Because I know the pain it causes, makes me alive, and that pain realizes me, that I’m alive. that is the good point.

Generally, she doesn’t give me a damn. She does things pretending that I don't exist. Something no sense at all, no calls for days, not even one single loveable word. 

Then I wonder :

“She is fooling around with me, why don’t I realize the situation and let myself go away from her?

Yes...Maybe I should show her that me too could live without her. I must not call her again, I won’t send any text messages to her again. I go off line in skype, viber or wherever. I deleted her name in the contacts list. Will not spend a dime on her again. I thanked to myself, finally I realized the reality. So again I’m free. No more hard feelings, yeah I was locking up in my own prison. What a tragic? Oh yes. I’m a wise man. I can’t let that girl to treat me like this. I’m not her servant. Especially I’m not a going to be a love beggar for licking her foot steps. I got my own individuality, my own way; I can’t betray those upon her. Now I can sleep really well. I can eat well. "

All the friends are telling me,

“Man…you look great nowadays, How cheerful you are, do share the secret!”. 

Yeah they are right, I got my food appetite back, I go to the gym right on time.  I meet my old friends who used to have chat while sipping a beer in the restaurants on Friday nights. No more sleepless sweaty nights. Yeah tables have turned. The torturous love was over. Now I sleep well. Anyway, I’m pretending that she is still around me. If I’m not doing so, people may say I’m the devil here. 

A new day, feel so good. What I’m going to do, today? Perhaps going to watch a movie; I saw a nice scientific movie on the notice board at the city cinema. no more crazy, stupid childish romantic movies. I should book a ticket on-line now. Where is my smart device? Here it is.

Suddenly my smart piece got a text message from a very familiar number.

“Hi…honey… What is going on? I was really busy last days. Can you come and meet me today? Same old place and same time? Will you? I can’t wait to meet ya! Ahh..I've got something special for ya..And yeah…I love ya…mmmaa”

Oh…no…here it is happening again. She thinks about me. How can I let you go away…coz I love you.

Here my heart is melting again. Now where is the wise part of the brain? What happened to that? Oh poor me. How can I resist this? Few divine words from her were enough to melt my strong will power. That’s how her magic spell works on me. I must meet you up today. 

Here comes my sweet misery again!


By Manu Fernando

We are born stupid & die stupid too!

We are born stupid & die stupid too! Yet, we try to live an extremely intelligent & a smart life pretending overflowing confidence. Within this life span, some have tried to extend it ( trying to find the Stone), some have tried to cut it short ( suicide bombers), some have gone to the Moon ( tired of their wives at home), some have dug the Earth ( woke up the sleeping ancestors, look I got Napoleon's head!) & some have tried their best to control the others, peace-war makers ( Without me, this earth won't exist).

As we were all busy watching "Others" in action, we did not have time to think about the absurdity of our lives;

Therefore, we simply need to write them down & laugh about it.

I have thought, done & heard quite absurd & hilarious things in my life, here is a very small list.

1. I have tried to be a Mermaid by tying my legs together from a shoe lace & wearing a bed sheet around my legs. Then I tried to roll, moaned a bit, but I only felt like a serpent may be because there was no water around. Then I have tried to be an indigeneous leader, only wearing a towel around the hips, but later in life I have given that up because guys react differently to that. Women leader or what?

2. Being a kid, I firmly believed that Cricket matches were played inside the television & I avoided any untimely death hit by a ball staying too close. When no one was around, I examined secretly the jack hole & the antenna wire expecting my favourite cricketer to appear, but he never turned up! When I was five I did not know the name Santa in English, I screamed aloud Fanta, Fanta in a carnival in Colombo imitating the other kids, he threw away the small gifts at us, I only managed to collect a handful of pebbles & tears in my eyes.

3. In my attempt to be kind to animals, I have somewhat helped a lady grasshopper to deliver a baby. I consoled her when she was crawling on the glistening tiled floor with a baby about to come out, gave her a bit of water to soothe her labour pains, then I quit home for classes & returned home to find the cute little baby; instead, she had left a poop not a baby,she was actually constipated. In  another situation, I felt sad about a stray cat, wanted to give him a bath & rescue him from the misery, but it scratched me and ran away. I still wonder what the cat thought about me.

4. In France, I was surprised to see Casinos in every small town, never dared to set foot in there ( being a buddhist, we nevr play with money!) till I found later that it was a supermarket chain. Similarly, at Boulanger I could never buy bread but computers & Orange never gave me a glass of juice but a telephone bill! land of contrast, I would say.

5. Once, my friend's car broke down in a car parking at night, I immediately asked the help from an old street vendor who was at the entrance. He smiled innocently & said:

Miss, I don't have one hand!

Another time, I offered a lunch packet to a man sitting on a wall by the sea side in Marine drive, Colombo, he scolded me:

"Do you think I am a beggar, I own all the shops in this area pointing at the luxury shops" I nearly cried.

6. Being an ambassador to oriental medicine, I gave a hot burning Tiger balm to a foreign guy to clear his nose from phlegm, but a bit later he started to scream as he had touched "a place" that should not be touched with tiger balm! Putainnn!

7. Then, I met this super intelligent mathematician- scientist who eats Algebra for breakfast, Computer codes for lunch, analysis on Mars for tea time, Artificial plastic vaginas for Dinner who confessed me quite timidly that he was genetically modified by inserting a chip to his nose when he was abducted by Aliens at the age of 14. He asked me to watch out for Aliens as they can now come to take me away too. Since I was very kind, I listened to him & I even encouraged him to build an airplane run by water. I went to the hardware store to buy the " stuff" for a model airplane. I liked the enthusiasm in people, even if it's to fly with out wings.

8. I lost faith in cosmetics & all beauty related products due to many incidents. Once my beloved father had applied hair removal cream Veet to his hair just before going for a wedding, He said he didn't have time to read the word "removal" . Then, I met this rich looking English couple at Mono prix, who said loudly, Oh, this Mono prix is so cheap. She did not like to see any product below 50 euros! Then, there was another beautiful lady who was talking to a mirror, I liked the way she expressed herself.

9. Recently at the Jewellery section the sales assistant who was very tired of convincing me for one hour:

Miss, you should buy these earrings, your ears look perfect on this! 

What? Ears? What made you say so? Because they look big! (She’s very observant, I have never thought about the size of ears) Now, I rethink before going to the lingerie section.

10. The yuckiest yet the most adorable thing was when a four year old white boy who I used to babysit during my uni days, insisted to lick my brown coloured feet saying, it's chocolate!!!! MMMM. If only his parents knew that their cute little white angel tasted yummy sri lankan chocos!

Finally, I tried to do high jumping in juniour school, I did jump it like one does hurdling, my brain kind of disloacted, since then.....

Have you been any good?

By Jahooli Devi

Une terre en vie

Où est-il, l’éléphant d’Asie ?

Oublié déjà

Sous un soleil désespéré

Où est-elle, la baleine bleue ?

Oublié déjà

Dans un océan désolé

Où est-il, le tigre du Bengale 

Oublié déjà

Sous une terre assoupie

Où est-elle, la tortue blanche ?

Oubliée déjà

Dans un univers ennemi

Savez-vous mes amis, savez-vous ?

L’arc en ciel à l’horizon

Souffle couleur à nos vies ?

Un champignon palpitant

Chouchoute des secrets

Aux fourmis sous les pierres?

N’est-il pas tout fier le paon

avec sa queue chatoyante ?

J’attends, j’attends

Chaque souffle 

dans ce monde battant

Ne me quittez pas

Venez pour fêter

souriants , dansez tango

Et plantez notre jardin mosaïque

Savez-vous mes amis, savez-vous ?

L’arc en ciel à l’horizon

Souffle couleur à nos vies ?

By Jahooli Devi