Short Love Stories

If I had that Dollar!

It was very surprising to see Jenifer’s name in the payroll of my company. At first, when I saw her name, I was amazed and thought it was a different Jenifer. But, when I saw her in front of me, I froze for a moment..... 

It all began twenty years ago.

Richard was a rich boy in our school and Jenifer was his girlfriend. Richard came from a wealthy family and Jenifer came from a middle class family. But, I was the poorest fellow in the school had a very poor life with my mom and my brother.

My mother was a factory worker & my brother was at school too. Sometimes, we didn’t have anything to eat for the whole day. Many days, I used to drink water to prevent the hunger. We were poor that much. Richard helped my studies, though he was not so good at studies, he even gave me money sometimes. He always lived a luxury life with his other friends who had money. He went for clubbing with them. Jenifer also joined them, according to them, they were enjoying their life. But, I was totally away from those things as I concentrated my mind only for education, It was because mainly I didn’t have money to waste.

Like most of the days, I was drinking water to get rid of the hunger, when Jeniffer came towards me. I did not notice that she was looking at me. She handed over me two sandwiches with a Coke. I felt so embarrassed and I rejected. But, she touched my hand and told me :

“It’s OK, you eat this” 

Then, I took the sandwiches and ate. She sat down by my side and smiled. 

She began to speak.

“I have seen you many times, you only drink water. I've never seen you eating in the school cafeteria. I wanted to talk with you.” 

So, days passed way and she helped me most of the times after that incident and of course Richard too. 

One day, she came to me and cried a lot. She told me that she broke up with Richard and he left her for another rich girl. I felt very sorry about her. After that incident, she was with me most of the times. So day by day, we became very close.

One fine evening, Jenifer came to my home for the first time to give a notebook. I was not at home but my mother was. I noticed that my mother was upset, but she did not tell me the reason.

After having 7-8 months of friendship, I felt a strong feeling about her. Day by day, I ignored my studies too. Every night, I was dreaming about her, I didn’t do any school work. I wanted to be with her every second. I began to love her. One night, I thought to tell her my feelings about her.

On the very next morning, I met her as usual and l dared to confess my feelings to her. But, she rejected me so sadly. I couldn’t believe that, I asked the reasons, but she never told me. Finally, I thought to myself... “she rejected me, because of my poverty. She must have stayed with me closely,because she might wanted to forget her loneliness after Richard left her”. That was how I justified it.

I thought to myself, how miserable to be poor. I didn’t have enough money to spend as I wanted, I could not eat, what I want, I didn’t have a proper house to live, now I could not love the person I wanted. I felt that poverty is the most miserable thing in this world. I felt like commiting suicide. I didn’t have good friends to tell about this. I had to bear all this all alone. But, everything had a breaking point. I wanted to start a new life. Same times I got angry about Jennifer too.

In the next day of morning, when i was walking to the school, I saw a blind person, who was trying to cross the road. No one helped him, but there were a lot people around. Suddenly, I realized that, this blind man was trying to live without his eyes while I was trying to kill myself, due to my poverty. I felt so ashamed of me. I wanted to be rich, that was the only way to win this world and to get revenge from Jenifer too. Then, I went to the blind man and, helped him to cross the road. Thereafter, I dedicated my entire life to studies. I never talked to her again. She went away from me.

After the final exam, I won a scholarship to a university. Then, I lost all contacts of her. and her memories were fading in my mind. In the university, I was one of the brightest students. Meanwhile, my brother got a job too. After , the final exam at the university, I got many job opportunities. I got a good job and I could save some money too. By the time, I got a proposal for marriage. She was a doctor. After the marriage, I resigned from my job and formed my own company. It became sucessful day by day by day. I got two brilliant kids too.

After the blind man incident I was happy... until today. It was almost 20 years.

“I...I didn’t know you were working here, I just saw your name on the payroll, then only I knew about you. Why didn’t you talk to me?

“I didn’t know this place belongs to you till I came here, after I knew about that, I really wanted to go away. But I couldn’t, I came through many difficulties, it's very difficult to find a job out there”.

“Yeah I see… what happened Jennifer? I was really worrued about you”.

“After one year, I left the school, my father died and I had to go for a job. But, I couldn’t find a good job, I worked in several places. Eventually, I got married to a person; he was a drunkard, every day I was beaten. my marriage had never been a good one. Then I got three children, and he left me. I had to take care of my children. My life is a hell "

I was shocked after hearing her story. I could not imagine what to tell her. Then I thought,if she had accepted my love then the story would have been different.

“I don’t know what to say… I feel very sorry abo ut you, but if you had accepted my love, when I proposed you, we could have been happy today”. Why… why did you reject my love over and over Jennifer? When you rejected me, I wanted to kill myself, but you didn’t know that. You never knew how much you meant to me.

She just smiled innocently and didn’t tell anything.

“Jennifer…please tell me why didn’t you accept my love? At least tell me now… please”

“I loved you Chris, more than my life… I loved you, I swear to god I loved you so much” Oh god please help me” she began to sob.
I couldn’t control myself and ran towards her to embrace her tightly.
“Then why didn’t you tell me Jennifer? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“If I told that I loved you, Chris you would never be the person who you are now”

“What do you mean Jennifer, who am I now?” What’s the difference? I don’t know, what are you talking”
“Chris… first it was not a love, when I was with Richard. I noticed you so many times. I understood how poor you were and how much you struggled to study & to live. I knew most of the time, you didn’t eat, you drank only water. I felt very sorry for you. Then one day I came to you and gave the sandwiches. You remember?”

“Yes…yes…I remember…just like yesterday”.
“So…day by day I felt that you were a really good person, and at the same time I felt Richard was a moron, he had enough money to spend. He didn’t love me either; he wanted me as a toy”. One day, he dumped me. I knew that he was going to leave me one day or other. After that I was close to you more and more to you. You also cared about me. When time passed, without knowing, I was falling in love with you. I knew that you were going to propose me one day. I was counting for days to reply you.... Saying "I love you too, Chris”. But remember... one day I went to your home?”

“Yes…I was not at home but my mother was”

“Yes…I met your mother there, she was a good woman, she asked me to come in to your home and we were talking for hours. That day, I realized how poor you were, it was only a room not a house, there was not even a bed, there were only two chairs. She told me how you meant for her, she told me how your family was living. She told me that you were the only hope for your family. She told me that if you were well educated, you would have a good job, then you would become a wealthy person. She dreamt you so high. She knew that you had an ability to become a rich person.

“OK…so why did you leave me? What’s the point?

“Chris…I know that you are such a good person and a sensitive person, if I had fallen in love with you, you would never study well, I saw it sometimes. When you were close to me, you ignored the studies. If you didn’t do your studies well, you would never become the person who you are now. So, I thought if I left you, your mother’s dream might come true. When I was coming back from your home, I cried a lot, I sighed for many days. but I decided to leave you on behalf of your succes. After three weeks of time, you asked me our, as I hope. Chris forgive me Chris…I loved you so much Chris, that’s why I rejected your love"

She began to cry like a little girl....

"Chris....if I loved myself, than you, I might have accepted your love. But, I loved you more than myself Chris, that’s why I rejected your love”

“Oh…God Jennifer, what are you telling me”. I don’t care this life or money. Jennifer…I wanted to be with you. I’m so sorry, I studied so hard because, I wanted to get revenge from you. I thought you left me because of my poverty. Please forgive me!!! ”

“It’s OK Chris, this is my fate, I never regret my life, but the love I had for you made the man who you are now. I’m happy about you my love...".

By Manu Fernando

Love Post Card

« Lettres , ô lettres des débuts, attente des lettres de l'aimé en voyage, attentes du facteur, et elle allait sur la route pour le voir arriver et avoir vite la lettre. » Belle de Seigneur

Oh, Dear Post Card, you arrived on time, as usual, you arrived on the right time when I lie here dying. I was guessing it to be a Letter with an envelope, from the day he asked for my address. It arrived when I was having breakfast. The old man said :

« Here is a letter for you, your much awaited letter ».

I was talking to the old man's sister & I could not be surprised in front of her or collapse to the floor. So, as if it is all casual, I left aside the post card , like one leaves the candies aside to be sucked alone when there is no one around. I came to the room with such a serenity, slowly as if nothing has happened, counting the stairs , gazing at the TV set where the old man leaves all the letters for students, holding the trophy with a certain pride. I entered to my little research laboratory as if I was going to dissect the frog on the post card!

Why did not he write a letter? But a post card? Oh women are never satisfied! Isn't the letter & the post card, all same? It is same. When you want to believe, it is the same. Don't they read, those postmen what is written on the post cards? It is for me, all to me , not to be read by wretched postmen who don't come on time! Oh , no post men here they don't read English , tant pis, if they knew what was written here? I can only have sympathy for the educated. Well, it means no one ever read it, I am the first one to read what he wrote. Well, what about the women in the post offices? You know, some women get so jealous when they see some sort of romantic messages. Thank God, this post card escaped those cruel witches!

Let's have a look at the front page. Do post cards have pages? No. Oh, the front side. It is a frog! Now who is the frog here? Did the frog remind of me to him? Or is it him , the frog? But, why a frog? May be I talk a lot, frogs do croak all the time for no reason and it is a headache. But he is not that cruel to compare me to a frog. But wait , it is a beautiful frog I have never seen a such a beautiful frog in my whole life, the other day at the restaurant I was right not to eat the frog legs, disgusting these French. Oh no, I should never talk bad about french, after all he is french, what to do he was born like that , but I don't think he eats frog legs, he is not that cheap. Well, what if he eats? It is OK, one should eat everything, so should he. It is not the end of the world, frog legs. 

And there is a red colour flower too. He knows the meaning of the colours, Red, I knew he would send me a red colour flower, see I was always right! But he did not send me flowers? Come on sending, copy pasting, painting, they are all same. What if he chose another post card with yellow or white flower? You ask too much all the time, that is the problem here. The tilte says Faune de Guyane. Godness, how little I know about Faune de Guyane! Let me Google it, I have never googled about a frog in my whole life, now the circumstances made me to do so. I should read a lot about Guyane & do a whole research on Guyane so that when he comes back, he can not surprise me any more, the poor thing, ha ha. But he has always something to surprise me so that I open my mouth wide, eyes gleam, & no wonder he thinks I am a blonde with black hair. Now this frog, I will like him forever, I wish I can get a Dentrobate Tinctorius as a pet, because I find it cute.

I think, I should read now what he has written. Should I hurry myself? Tomorrow is the exam, did I study anything for Traduction Créative or did I prepare the speech? How can I make him proud when I fail a test like the last time? But, he did not scold me when I failed the exam, he looked cool. So, why worry? He is not my father to ask about my results! But then again, it is not good for my image because it will confirm him again that I am a born blonde. Wait, next time I will show him my academic records, full of A+, A, he would say Wow, Pussy cat ! But then again , he would never believe, he is that type, he is neither happy nor sad, that is his nature, even if I pass or fail , he will still be same. Moreover, intelligent people do not behave like the way I do, they are all composed, serene, full of knowledge. Where is the post card?

Let me start to read. Hello. I stop there, why does he call me Hello? I am not a telephone. It is not romantic. Hello, so ordinary, Why can't he write Dear, Darling? I know why because I use the same words and he does not want to copy me! He is not like the other guys who waste words, he uses words when it is necessary. But, wait! he says Hello Pussy Cat! Why did not I see that part, may be because I tried to read quickly. Pussy Cat sounds good, the word of endearment, in old English. He likes all these sweet words from Shakespearean days, he loves like him, that is why he used the word Pussy Cat. Let me think again. But the other day , I saw the word Pussy in a website, some sort of a bad website, where there are wet pussies. I don't think it is the same pussy here, here it is a pussy cat, like the normal cat , meaw, meaw, the four legged one? The adorable one? Are cats adorable? The only thing they do is to scratch the master and be indifferent all the time when we try to cuddle. Did not I cuddle him enough? May be it his message to tell me that I should cuddle him more even though I am a pussy cat. I should not be proud all the time, you see.

Then he continues. Now, I am shivering to write it here because he really meant what he wrote! Too much of anything is not good for you baby. Is it a warning? No, I don't think because there is no exclamation mark. He never warns me, he the sweet type unlike the idiot that I used to have. Then this a general opinion. From where did he find this motivational phrase? Nowadays, we copy paste from websites all those intellectual quotes to show that we are wise, but then again he does not have internet like me , I mean when he was in the post office. So, this is real, this is written by him to me or writen to me by him ? Let me read gain, Too much, ahh I knew he would feel it because I did not act like a lady, anything, it can be anything like Nutella or mustard cream . But he is not a dietician. Can "anything be everything? You know things are tangible, any thing means things that are tangible. It is good I really got what he said, it means I should be careful with my diet. Or you know stop drinking wine, too much wine. He said for you, It means he cares for me, for me! It is special he did not say , too much of anything is not good for anyone, but for me, he even write the word baby, for you baby. So lovely! By the way are feelings considered as things? I am sure not!

He continues the letter, no I mean the post card, Yet, looking forward to seeing you loveliest one. Aww, what a beautiful phrase ! But where is the subject? Is the subject important? Look idiot, it is the same person who writes, there is no need to repeat the subject in grammar. But where on earth on this letter, he has mentioned a subject? Did he start with I , no. There is no I. Then who is looking forward to see me? Idiot, look down , he has signed! Oh thank god, I am calm now. It means it is him who is looking forward to see me. Who else? Do you think his father wrote this to you? Does he know that I stalk his father? I think that is too much information. Father is cute too, all rose like roses , Like father, like son, I am becoming wise! Loveliest one, that is the best part, the superlative adjective. I am flattered, I shoud pretend Oh, no don't say like that, I am not the loveliest. I am humble, you know,and bit stupid too !

Then he finishes, oh no, I am already at the end of this terrible long letter, dit post card, time flies like rockets. Kiss, in & outs. That is like a monkey kiss! No, you woman how dare you think about that animal when you think about him? In & outs means , everything inside, & everything outside. Ha ha, that is very intimate so I should never show this post card to my sister because she is still so young. What would she think about him when she reads in & outs, bad impression on him, I know she would imagine naughty things, see I am already red. Perhaps I would show the frog but not what he wrote because it is private & highly confidential. Then he has signed, beautiful signature, it is the first time I see his signature, even though it has just two letters, scribbled quickly. After all, what is a signature, it is a name written quickly, until a kid told me like that I never thought about it. Kids are quite smart these days. He has written Love before the signature, it is not that important compared to the analysis I had on the frog.

Now, the left side is over. let me have a look at the right side. It takes time to move the pages. He has drawn a sun, he got real talents, better than Paul Cezanne here, yes, Sun because he has drawn the rays of the Sun. But this Sun has eyes, and a moustache. again a puzzle, he loves to give me puzzles. He wants me to revise the lessons on symbolism. Now I know where the moustache comes from, even the tiny eyes. It is like you are my sunshine, rather I am your sun shine. This Sun does not have a nose & a mouth. Strange. May be he was in a hurry to go to work, he told me so. But think wise, when did Sun have a nose & a mouth? Are you crazy? Think logically. By the way the moustache on the Sun is so cute, sunny days have been healthier for the moustache.

Then he has written my name & the address. Wow, he has taken time to write my name, that is special, I feel elated. And then it is over. How come a letter ends? It is sad, letters should not end, they should be continued. Look there is a stamp, did he use glue or his own saliva? Let me smell. Ah I guessed right, saliva, he must have rolled the tongue lightly on the stamp. Heaven. And the pen? How did he find a pen in the forest? Is he in the forest? No way. he must have asked a pen from the post officer. And then the post officer must have asked why, & then he must have replied in his sweet way, you know just to write a letter. As he is all smiling with the strangers, the post officer must have felt pity & has given him a pen. Next time, when he arrives, I should give him a pen , in case if he wants to write more letters when he is away.  I don't like when accepts others' pens!

Does this letter smell good? sometimes people use sweet smelling ink, perfumed inks, I bet he must have used one of those ink to write this long love letter. He finds things when he really wants. Sometimes, when they don't have perfumed ink , they spray their perfume a bit to the letter. Well, that is why it is bit blurred in the address area. Or did he really cry writing this letter because he misses me so much? Tears too can stain a letter. Wish, I was there to give him a tissue to wipe the tears. But, then again if I was there would he write a letter to me? There is no logic in what I think. I should give him some space to write a letter, so he can really express himself, like in this as he used all his writing techniques. I think this letter a true master piece, if they consider letters for the Nobel prize, he is sure to win it. Oh, I can just imagine, he walks up to the stage to get the prize, I will appluad, all jumping. I know he would share the prize with me because he wrote it to me. What shall I wear to the ceremony? Black does not suit me, may be Green, but it is not elegant. Should brush my teeth now to get ready.


Now, where should i display this letter? i can't just leave it on the desk like rubbish. But, i don't have a safe, do people hide letters in the safe? Should i do what others do all the time? if i hide it in the safe, no one knows it, no one looks for a letter in a safe! i am too smart today. Hold on. i should not hide it i should display in a place where i get to see it everyday, near the bed? On the bed? under the bed? in my pocket? no i don't wear jeans all the time. In the bath room before the commode? No way, imagine it falls to the toilet pit. How can i ever recover it?

i am angry. Angry because i don't have a bloody place to keep this. i can not be carrying a letter everywhere i go, there are thieves, they might snatch my bag & runaway forever. Oh god, i am confused, perplexed, overwhelmed.

Oh god, i am going to faint, this is too much pressure. Oh, God, why did he write to me?  I did not ask that much from him. Actually, I don't like too much attachement. I don't like too much of anything. Did not he know that before? Who cares these stupid post cards!  Poor fellow who is trying to win my heart, huh! One post card? It cost only one euro, am I that cheap?  Look at him, hanging on to my bed room wall, exactly like an endangered species. I should replace it with Tim's photo , who writes me long love letters with scented perfumes, who keeps on declaring his love. Such a sweet, chap he is!

By the way, Shall i ask him to write another letter?

In case if I loose this one? There are rats every where.

At least a Post Card?

By Jahooli Devi 

Sweet misery 

I like her, I really like her. It’s not because of her beauty, her social status, her professional achievements or her education. I just like her… Perhaps, I may love her too. Yes…I love her.

“Do I love her?”

Yeah I love her, what the heck? I love her.

But it’s not the kind of love to obtain from one day. But to spend days with her, walk with her; hike with her, run with her or swim with her. In short, share my feelings with her. If I’m not gonna have her, why should I love her? May be I need her? Need? This is confusing.  Perhaps I want her. May be both.
She may never know the feelings I got for her. I know this may be crazy.  

Crazy? Yes…people define things as “normal” and frame it, If one does something beyond the defined frame; may be something extraordinary, people may say that person is “Crazy”. Upon that definition….So yes I’m crazy. I do some things beyond the normal. But that craziness I made up by the way that I feel. So still I’m crazy. I don’t care. Because I feel it. since I sense the craziness, Oh...that's fine.

In another way its kind a feeling that, I’m stuck with her and I’m digging deep in her to find my own grave there, when she ignores me . I don’t want to escape from this sweet misery either, maybe I love this.  I spend every day with an expectation, though it burns me alive. Because I know the pain it causes, makes me alive, and that pain realizes me, that I’m alive. that is the good point.

Generally, she doesn’t give me a damn. She does things pretending that I don't exist. Something no sense at all, no calls for days, not even one single loveable word. 

Then I wonder :

“She is fooling around with me, why don’t I realize the situation and let myself go away from her?
Yes...Maybe I should show her that me too could live without her. I must not call her again, I won’t send any text messages to her again. I go off line in skype, viber or wherever. I deleted her name in the contacts list. Will not spend a dime on her again. I thanked to myself, finally I realized the reality. So again I’m free. No more hard feelings, yeah I was locking up in my own prison. What a tragic? Oh yes. I’m a wise man. I can’t let that girl to treat me like this. I’m not her servant. Especially I’m not a going to be a love beggar for licking her foot steps. I got my own individuality, my own way; I can’t betray those upon her. Now I can sleep really well. I can eat well. "

All the friends are telling me,

“Man…you look great nowadays, How cheerful you are, do share the secret!”. 

Yeah they are right, I got my food appetite back, I go to the gym right on time.  I meet my old friends who used to have chat while sipping a beer in the restaurants on Friday nights. No more sleepless sweaty nights. Yeah tables have turned. The torturous love was over. Now I sleep well. Anyway, I’m pretending that she is still around me. If I’m not doing so, people may say I’m the devil here. 

A new day, feel so good. What I’m going to do, today? Perhaps going to watch a movie; I saw a nice scientific movie on the notice board at the city cinema. no more crazy, stupid childish romantic movies. I should book a ticket on-line now. Where is my smart device? Here it is.

Suddenly my smart piece got a text message from a very familiar number.

“Hi…honey… What is going on? I was really busy last days. Can you come and meet me today? Same old place and same time? Will you? I can’t wait to meet ya! Ahh..I've got something special for ya..And yeah…I love ya…mmmaa”

Oh…no…here it is happening again. She thinks about me. How can I let you go away…coz I love you.

Here my heart is melting again. Now where is the wise part of the brain? What happened to that? Oh poor me. How can I resist this? Few divine words from her were enough to melt my strong will power. That’s how her magic spell works on me. I must meet you up today. 

Here comes my sweet misery again!

By Manu Fernando

Gone with the War

It was on 21st of September, 1944. We were all anxious.  Everyone was thinking what would happen next. I was in a “glider” and some are in planes.  We were flying over Holland. In about 30 minutes of time, our intention was to land at “Driel” a village, in Arnhem on the South bank of the River Rhine and merge with the British group who had already landed there, few days back.   I can see below, the splendid view of Dutch countryside; beyond the mountain range, many tulip flower fields in yellow and maroon colour.  It was almost 17hrs, we got clear weather.  After few minutes, we descended by parachutes. 

Immediately, we were under fire from all the directions in an open area. I was trying to make my parachute to the target, right in place, while bullets were flying around me. I was almost on the ground; I felt a warm feeling inside my jacket and in the trouser. I looked at the sky for a moment. still some gliders and planes are flying over and one glider was having a smoke trail, fellow companions were descending by parachutes. For a second. I forgot everything and felt lightness. Then, the world turned in to black.

I opened my eyes barely, while trying to move my head around to realize, where I was. 

Suddenly… a little boy yelled out:

“hij wakker… hij wakker”

I saw a lot of hay around me, it was a barn…through a cracked wooden wall, I saw few peasants were chattering in the back yard.

The boy yelled they all rushed in to the barn…

“gdzie jestem?” (Where am I…?)

An old peasant said……“Shh…shh…. niet praten ... je werden doodgeschoten door de Duitsers . nu ben je veilig .” (Don’t were shot by Germans. now you safe.)

“Uh….Je polish?”

I nodded.

In few seconds, I fell asleep again.

Next day in the morning I woke up.  I felt some comfort around me, …my military clothes have been changed, and they had dressed me with a cotton shirt and a loosen trouser…I was more like a peasant lying on a bale of hay. The smell around me was bit muddy.

 I saw that boy, he was sitting on a hay roll. As soon as he realized that I had woken up, he ran away. After few minutes…he came with a young girl who was carrying a bowl of soup.

They came and sat nearby me on a bench.  Then,  she started to feed me with  a spoon.

“dziękuję za wszystko” (Thank you for all)

She didn't say a word; instead she continued to feed me. She wore a nice smock gown, and orange color scarf, around her neck. She got a nice long neck and few red pimples on her cheeks. Once she finished with the feeding; she left the boy with me.

The boy was so curious about me, but he didn't talk with me. He was sitting on a cross bar inside the barn and swinging his legs & was humming to himself.

I said... ”hello” to him…and he smiled.

“What is your name kid?” He didn't answer my question, but smiled.

 “Is that your sister?” he didn't answer any of my questions.

In the evening I called that boy and said:

“I'm thirsty” …he didn't respond to my request.

I realized he could not understand what I was saying…then I did a hand gesture like drinking water.

Then he ran away and came with the young girl. She gave me cup of water. My hands were still shaking, then she put her hands around my shoulders and tried to lift me a bit. It was easier me to drink the water with her hand.

When she finished, she was rushed to go… I held her hand and said:

“Thank you very much”

 She released my hand and went to the yard. Then a big silence, only thing I could hear was the wind blowing, occasionally I heard a distant gun fires.

I couldn't sleep that night; I heard more and more artillery fires in distance…and my wounds were killing me. That made me nervous. All of a sudden I heard someone  playing…A violin….it didn't take a second to realize it was the symphony called “Por una Cabeza”.

It gave me bit strange feeling…. I tried to figure out…who is this, where does this come from, I tried to look through the cracked wooden wall for a clue. But I can’t see any sign of it, because it was pitch black  out side. All the citizens were warned to turn off any light source in the night, to prevent any unnecessary bombardments. I could hear only the sound. I assumed that sound came from the house over the courtyard. And I thought to my myself the violin player must be the girl…ha..Otherwise who could be?” Thinking about her and listening to the music I fell in to a sleep.

Next day, I woke up with the little boys poking. They were preparing hot tub for me to take a bath. It made me happy. They helped me to go outside & have a wash.  When I finished the bath, she brought some oats and milk for breakfast. The boy ran after a dog in to the prairie over the house. While I was eating….I asked:

“Who played the violin last night?” She didn’t reply.

“Is that you…Miss? Mmmm….I don’t know your name… …”

“It’s Abigal…Abigal Dirks”

“So you played the violin? Ha….?


“It’s beautiful…ummm….you play often?”

“Yes…. almost every night”

“It’s so strange you play a violin…when all around, Shootings and Bombardments are taking place.”

She didn’t tell anything about this.

“I just want to thank all of you, despite risking all your life in danger and helping me …especially your father who brought me here”

“No…it’s not my father…he is my uncle…”

“Ah…I see…where are your parents?”

“All died in the war”

“All….? So…isn’t that your brother?”

“No…not my brother”

this is the 4th day of there, since I got wounded. I got two big wounds in my right thigh; one in my stomach, each elbow has deep cuts. I was bleeding to death, when they picked me over the ridge.

“Hello…Young man…” suddenly I was woken up by a noise.

“Oh…it’s ok…stay where you are…I just came to check your wounds.”

Then the person who picked me here...Introduced me to the new man.

”He is a Doctor…he was the person who treated you after I brought here”

I nodded…as I’m showing him.

 “So…young man…you have to stay here for at least two weeks”

“But I must…re-join with my unit…I just can’t stay here...In any minutes Jerries may come here and shoot me…may be all of us.”

“Yes…yes…you are right…but… it’s not easy for you to find any friendly unit .

around…….and….still you got deadly wounds. Alias scatted everywhere… and overwhelming attack was carried out by Germans.  in Arnhem, Eindhoven, and Nijmegen, they got heavy losses. You see? ……At Arnhem…still heavy fightings are taking place.”

I didn’t say a single word of it and I just lie on the bale of hay. Then they left me. I fall in to a deep sleep till night.

When the night fall…I could hear some roaring plane engines in distance…some time just over my head…Perhaps… alias air force planes may drop the essentials to the displaced troops. It’s remind me, “What I’m doing here... in a barn?” like a coward… I should be ashamed on myself…its embarrassing.  But I remember once someone told;

”Sometimes it’s better to retreat, so… we can give a good fight the enemy on some other day”.

When I’m thinking those…here again… I hear her violin music…again the “Por una Cabeza”…the same music she plays everyday….why this girl is playing only this? Every day?

In the morning…She came with my breakfast and sat down on the little bench next to me.  

“I used to listen to your music now”
She kept quiet instead telling something. I wanted to make her smile. I said;
“It was nice….and…it seems… now you have a big fan too…”

 She just looked away, and didn’t say anything.

“Well…..Um… why you play same symphony all the time… ?”Is there any reason for that?... Abigal?”

“It was the music that I used to play with Josh…he played the accordion, while I play the violin”

“Who is josh?”

“He was my love…and my Soulmate”

“Where is he now?”

“He was a Jewish… and shot by Germans”

“Oh…Gosh…I’m sorry”

“we were in, “Rotterdam Conservatoire”, the music school”.

“When the war came to Holland, everything changed. It was 1940, German killed many civilians. Including my family. Then the Jewish…so the Josh.  I didn’t have any kith to stay in Rotterdam any more. I fled to Arnhem, to my uncle”   

“It’s a tragedy”

“Yes…I met Josh in the music school…he was a senior student there…we played this symphony, while looking to each other’s eyes …we were playing without blinking our eyes…sometimes tears fall upon my cheeks…we continued”

“I’m really sorry to hear that…..Abigal”

“So…still I play this symphony all alone, I try to forget his memories…when I hear the distance gun fires and artillery barrage…I play this with outrage”

“Abigal…war will end soon…everything will be Ok”

“Everything…? My family…Josh…will they come back?”

I just hold her hand tidily…her hand was so cold…then I embrace her to my chest…

“I’m grieving for your losses…Abigal” she just nodded and left me, while wiping her eyes.

It got past two weeks…most of the nights I listened to her lovely violin music…though it’s the same symphony…when I think the story behind it…it feels, like a Opera concert for me.

In a morning her uncle came to me and said…

"The Allies withdrew from the southern bank of the Rhine…So it seems…this time, they failed here in Holland… now it’s not safe here…Germans may search for any remaining around the area…your rendezvous point has made….but..mmm…it  is somewhat difficult route…but don’t worry…I give you two of men…they will take you to a friendly unit. Well… uh…it’s better to get ready after sun down…so you can be with your unit in tomorrow at first light”

It shocked me a bit. I’m leaving here…I felt bit sad than happy. I wanted to help Abigal, but I don’t know why or how help her?  It feels so strange. Maybe a feeling with fondness.  It’s weird; it’s a strong feeling about her. It’s true its being only two weeks, since I got here, but I feel, I owe something to her. May be inner me wants to do a just for her, may be listening to her violin music in the pitch dark, or to wait in the morning till she brings me the Porridge. Or, to talk few words with her. I don’t know exactly what I want or, why I can’t leave her. 

On the evening she came to me. 

“It will take another three, four weeks to recover your wounds”


“mmm…the two men will come when it's dark”


“So…they gonna send you to the hospital….then”


“You look unhappy, Shimon…what’s the matter?”

“I feel strange…Abigal…”

“Strange what?”

“Its kind of…I don’t wanna leave you here…”

“What do you mean…not leave me?”

“I mean…I like to stay here and help you…”

“Help me?...why I need a help? For what?”

“I don’t know…I just feel it”

“Shimon…I think you need a good rest…Please do rest when you get there”

“No…Abigal…no…I’m good, I’m worried about you”

“Shimon…listen…war is gonna over soon, then we forget things”

“When the war is over…will you forget josh? And your family?”

“it’s  different”

“Abigal…it’s not different…feelings are feelings…”

I hold her hand, and looked in to her eyes…she was just looking over the mountain.

“Abigal…if I’m not die…when the war is over…I’ll come to see you again…I promise”

She didn’t say a thing. And after little moment…

“Shimon…take care of yourself” and she left.

On 4th of May in 1945, war was over for Holland, but for me, I had to stay in the army, until     the end of the November in the same year. After leaving my unit in December, I came to “Arnhem” to see Abigal, as I promised. The place where, their farm was now only a rubble. From the  neighbourhood, I perceived that, most of the civilians were evicted, later around the Arnhem and suburb. So no one knew what happened to them. I embarked from Antwerp to Portsmouth in late December. While I was sailing in the dark, I came to the dock, her violin symphony was     still echoing in my ears.

I thought to myself, wars are never good or happy, it's always bad, unhappy and full of separations. There are no winners from a war but losers, only losers.

Inspired by WW2 in Holland

By Manu Fernando

A Kiss to freeze

I came to Vladivostok in the evening after a long, weary train ride, all exhausted. I put my gloves on and took my leather bag up onto my shoulders coming out from the railway station. My neighborhood was all isolated due to the heavy snow falling. I merely saw a taxi parked at the far end of the car park. I waved at it. It splashed the head light twice to acknowledge me. The taxi arrived and stopped at my feet. A young, tall driver got down from the taxi and smiled at me saying

“Good evening… Sir…. fall is heavy… come inside quickly; I already turned the heaters on”.

I gave him a quick glance and a smile and stepped into the car. He was staring at me, until I tell the address;

“Café Ganga”

I reserved this nice vegetarian restaurant to meet her after discerning her food desires. There are delicious authentic Indian food in there. It took only ten minutes to get to the café, from the railway station. Just after paying the taxi fare to the chauffeur, I went in to the café. She was already there and, I did see her from the very distance. She was playing with her phone enthusiastically. So, she didn't see me till I stood up nearby her. She tilted her chin up, and stood up with wide opened eyes. While giving me a warm hug, she said…

“Oh….Nicolai…I didn't see you coming, I was just reading your texts…Oh…dear”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again… Tatiana”


“Did I make you wait for so long?”

“No…no…I just came…anyway I wanted to come little earlier than you, because after having long journey you can’t wait here for me much long”…she told chuckling.

We sat at a corner table, as we could see each other’s face directly. She was wearing a brown color leather jacket with a denim trouser and leather boots. Her ski hat and the scarf were on the table.  I could see her curly, black long hair all the way of shoulders and hind. Both we were staring at each other for a moment.

“You hungry?....did you order something?”

“Oh…No…Nicolai…I waited for you”

“So…what do we eat?”

“I'm really, OK with anything”

I could not take off my eyes from her longing eyes. Those were sparkling with a yearning desire. I wanted to take off my gloves and touch her hands. But she was wearing thick leather gloves. Her eyes glimpse at her hands, couple of times. It seemed that she read my mind…

“Uh…Nicolai…my hands are itching in this gloves…you know? I just bought them yesterday…may be because they are new”

while saying so, She took her gloves off and kept them on the table. Then she began to rub her hands  warming herself. It made me a craving to see her long, fingers, with manicured nails. But I just can’t remove my gloves and touch her hands. She brushed up some hair which fallen upon her face and brow, with her fingers. Then, I could see her endearing face , her “Anton Chekhov- nose” adds a classic beauty to her face; I couldn't take my eyes off, from her luscious lips. She discerned my craving about her lips and then she pouted them.

"Oh…gosh", that made me  little embarrassed. For the first time I felt “I think I'm falling in love with this sweet angel”.

I met her, the other day at the art gallery in Moscow. We couldn't talk much there, it was because she was in a hurry to go with her friends. After having few telephone conversations, I made this appointment. It’s true….without having a kind of relationship, may be its not wise to falling love on someone. But how I can I resist her? I just can’t help.

I ordered Matar Paneer Pulao, Dumplings with potatoes in butter and Sea soup. Because the other day when we were having telephone conversations, about food, she told me, she loves to eat those. When I ordered, she looked at me with widen eyes. And she asked;

“Nicolai, that’s my favourite. what made you order those…huh?” 

“Cant you remember? the other day you told me, when we talk about food and stuff?”

“Ah...My goodness, but how well you remember that little information? That’s amazing”

“Tatiana, that’s the necessity and the enthusiasm”

“Oh…Oh…necessity and the enthusiasm? Nice words. M..m..m... About me or food?”

“I mean, you and your desires, both”

“You know what, Nicolai? That impressed me much”

Our orders came to the table and we really enjoyed the meals.

“Tatiana, shall we have a walk? I think the snow falling has stopped”

“Oh…yeah...I’d love to”

I stretched my right hand towards her, first she looked at my hand and, then in to my eyes, with a smile. Then she took my hand. Snow falling has stopped. We walked in to the “pokorovsky Park”.

While we were walking she looked in to my eyes several times. Each time, when she did it, I wanted her to lean to me as much as she could.

"Nicolai, You know? I love your smell, it's so good to me"

"Well...I love yours too"

Finally we came to a garden bench and sat down. We could clearly see the, “Pokorwsky Cathedral” to the place where we sat in the park. While she was talking with me, she moved her face towards me.

 This time, I could feel her scent  closely and deeply. It gave me a sudden desire to touch her face. My eyes locked with her eyes suddenly.  I couldn't resist running my fingers through her hair. Then I looked in to her face, her lips were trembling, I couldn't realize, whether they were trembling due to the freezing coldness or to the nervousness. I could hear her heart ticking fast. When I looked at her face, I couldn't see anything, but her luscious lips. I wiped a flake on her cheek, with my fingers. I felt the softness of her skin in my hand for the first time. I was really anxious too. She ran her right hand’s fingers through my fingers, and then held my palm tightly. I touched her face with my left hand . Then she closed her eyes and held my both hands warmly, then released one hand and, pressed my hand to her face gently. I looked in to her face and saw her shimmering lips again. It gave me a yearning desire to kiss them. But I left that imagination wistfully. But instantly, she opened her eyes and put her arms around my neck, and she was pulling my head towards to her. This time I was unable to resist  my burning desire to kiss her trembling lips. And I thought to myself,

“I wish this kiss could freeze me forever.”

By Manu Fernando


One Last Call

I came to the Colombo airport. It was a nice morning though the airport was a little bit hectic.

“Please give me a window seat”.

I said “Hello” to few people while I was going through the air bridge to the flight.
While thanking the nice lady officer who put me into a window seat , I could see the eastern sky in orange color with the rising sun.

Time is about 7.10 am. I really wanted to say “hello” to you before I leave the ground. But now it’s too late. 

There were lots of images across my mind. I look through the window. My mind is so nervous. Last night I was sleepless, just like most of the nights.
I see the ocean below me… at least one ship is not there… it’s just blue …. like my heart… nothing is there. Only emptiness… It makes me sad… I merely switched on my mobile phone… I see your photos which I took at your home. You were pretty… happy… and was a bit surprised… sitting on a chair… while eating a candy stick wearing a tiny skirt and a blouse.….. I remember the moment….

I asked…
“Shall I take a picture of you?”
“For what ?”
“Just To keep with me”
“So… I’m here… you can see me whenever you want… huh?”
“Yeah… you are right for the moment… but who knows the future?”
While giggling…. you said.
Mmmm…. I don’t know… is it worth to keep my picture with you, anyway?”

“Drinks …. Sir?”
I woke up from the Flight Steward's voice…
“Yes...Whisky please…”
After six years we talked last month. You were telling me that you were going to marry him in a couple of months. I thought to myself it was "meant to be”. I’m happy about you anyway.
But for me…. Oh… yes... At least I can talk with you. Is it really enough for me? 

“Damn… Yes”… otherwise what? You are good …. still you talk with me. I can live with it…. that’ll make me live.

Suddenly I saw a notice on the flight information display.

“Make a call at $10”
“Wow”…. Once I saw this, the person who came to my mind is…. “you”… I just wanted to make a call to you. I was 40,000 feet above the ocean. I wanted to make a historic moment of our lives, especially mine. 

It reminds me, how I used to call you back in those days. I didn’t have a telephone either. I went to the telephone booth, I got some money in my pockets… honestly…. it was my whole salary for a month. Oh...Yes… I’m ready to spend all this money to talk with you. Back then, my salary was not enough to buy a phone even.
We talked a lot, sometimes for hours… about everything.

You even sang to me, you told stories, we played games and you made jokes. I was always so happy with you. I loved every single second that I talked with you… so I never felt time was ticking. I remember… you had such a wonderful smile… sometime I ask you to smile… I mean smile for nothing, though it was a crazy idea. 

It's 2.30pm… now I am at “Changi” airport. I came out from the airport and got into the taxi.

“Peninsula Excelsior … please…..”

“Yes sir… right away… sir”

I remembered, for the first and last time, Once … we got into a bus… it was fully crowded… like a hell… but It was like a private jet plane for me. When you are nearby me, leaning to each other… I don’t care what happens around me and you… standing and holding a bar, smiling and talking like a child and sometimes staring at me with your round eyes… I felt your smell… your sweat mixed with the perfume you used… And you paid the bus fare for me… we both laughed out aloud then…. that was the only time we traveled together.

“Sir… we are at Excelsior Hotel”

“Oh… yes…. here… and…. Keep the change”
“Good day sir”

“Yeah… good day”
I must stay here for a few days… perhaps I must talk to you… maybe tomorrow… or maybe today itself. And of course...I must buy an adorable gift for you… and I should post a nice card to you.

With my official works it passed for four days… without any sense. Tomorrow, I must go back… still I didn’t make a call to you or… I didn’t buy anything for you.

I went to Orchard road, where there are beautiful, classic and elegant shops. I feel it’s just like you. So… what I get for you? A watch…. A perfume… jewelry… A dress… or a souvenir… I’m so confused… should it be a world class brand? Should be it be cute little gift? … oh goodness... I have never bought a gift for a girl. I remember once… your boyfriend gave you a computer printer. It was worth about….. three times of my one month salary, back then. It makes me laugh now. So what should I get for you now…? … An elegant gift for an elegant woman…
I stuck in the “Cartier”. And I picked …”earrings”….
This is how they explain it…

"Fluid curves hand with diamonds, in a soft wavelike design. The stones sparkle against the hypnotic black of the lacquer or illuminate pink or white gold. This play of shimmering reflections flickers between shadow and light.” 

For a moment… I thought... I think this fits you in every sense.
I bought it with a happy smile. Tomorrow I fly back… and I will surprise you with this. I came to my hotel room and try to sleep. It was almost sleepless night, as usual.

The next day, early in the morning I switched on my smart device while I was going to have my breakfast.

 “Hi… hw r u? just wanna make a request from u.Pls Dnt misunderstand .My fiancé is coming 2 SL 2mrw.So as u know ab him lets not have contacts from nw bt keep our friendship in our minds.I really hope u understand me as u r a v gud friend of mine.I really dnt want 2 loose ur friendship. u r such a nice frnd of mine.Pls pls dnt misunderstand.take care ur self.G nite.”

I stopped for a while… and leaned on to the door. Why this happened to me? Why this happens, every time I try to speak with her? I don’t want to marry her… I don’t even want to touch her… I don’t want to stay around here, any more… I don’t want anything from her neither… I just want to have a small chat with her…. for God sake… a “small, friendly chat” Oh…. why… why this…?
Should I call her for one last time?
I just told her that I got her message and…. and I told… it would happen, as you wish. She was happy about it. 

I asked.

“So… you gonna come to the airport to pick him?”
“Yeah… I would… when will you be back?

“Today…mostly around 18.30”

“He is coming from Dublin… He will arrive around 14.30”

“That’s good…when I come…you may left with him already…that’s perfect”

She sighed…and asked…

“Did I make you upset?”

“No…not really…”

“Did I make something in your mind; about me…I mean... kinda ....feeling…?”

“No…no…I’m fine”

“Thanks for god…I’m happy”

I am a great pretender… how could I tell, the truth? I didn’t even tell that I bought a gift for her.

 “Ok…then…it came to the end ….just one last “Good bye forever”.

Still I’m thinking about you. And…What should I have done to keep you with me? Yes…to safe guard the friendship at least?  I couldn't do anything… I just listened to you. Always…I was listening…. I wanted to make peace in your mind…Once…I remembered..I asked from you…

“What do you pray for god …“Rooni”…?”

“I asked them to make me happy always”

If you difficult to find that happiness and peace in your mind when I’m around you…it’s crazy... So I must let you go…as you wish… it’s because that’s the best thing that I could do for you…. to fulfil your expectations and happiness… Though, I love you endlessly.

Inspired by true events.
By Manu Fernando

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