Monday, May 5, 2014

Can a feminist be in love with a man?

Is this a valid question to ask? This question implies the idea that feminists are Women in general & there is something wrong with that person to be in love with a man! I am not going to talk about the feminst men who support the cause of women.

Would you date a feminist? Is she the most dangerous woman in this world?

If feminism was a normal , well accepted , clear concept to everyone out there  which defines in general terms  a political , social & cultural movement  involves in defending ( fighting does not sound so good ) equal rights for women, life would be easy for many feminists today.

No, it is not yet been easy.

Feminism & love has been a topic less discussed during these ideological discussions which lead many strong women who fight for the rights of other women to be deprived of love & care from men. A healthy relationship between feminism & love seems to have become quite incompatible terms.
In simple terms, people think a feminist is someone who sacrifices her whole life for women out there because she could not find a man to do so! 

Some even go in to compare a feminist to a "femme fatale" or even to a prostitute because they are totally unaware of what feminism is.

Here are some examples from day today conversations.

1. Are you a feminist?
   Yes, why?
   So, you don't like men?

2.  You have an attitude. You must be a feminist. Be prepared for a old maid single life.

3.  Please don't scold him, he is a man, what ever he does, be sweet & innocent. Just keep quiet & pretend.

4.  If you are a feminist, you must have had many love affairs then?

5.  Are you going to be a bitch as well?

 People misunderstand the term feminism, both men & women. Men think feminists are uncontrollable, wild souls who refuse to do the dishwashing, cooking , thus should be eliminated from their most eligible list.

Women, on the othe hand, think they should be feminists because, they are tired of men  because they met jerks in all of their lives, thus shoot any man dead on their way, justifying that they are feminists!

There is something very wrong there, while I am trying to highlight that there is a feminist , who is a woman, a perfect normal woman, who is not necessarily an "iron woman", who is not necessarily a rape victim, who is not necessarily a plain Jane BUT who is concerned about other women' problems, including her problems & at the same time who wish to have a perfect life with a Man she loves!

Is it a really difficult thing to digest for men? 
Is it  a gossip to be discussed behind her back, ladies?

While men pull away from feminist type ladies, women continue to discriminate their own kind laughing at her efforts to bring equality to them. It is a harsh truth no one ever dare to talk.

Please get rid of the idea that "masculine" men don't like feminists & only men with feminine qualities accept such women. Man should have enough courage to accept that  his girl friend/wife is not a door mat! 

Every woman should be a feminist because there is nothing wrong in that ( She is not a terrorist) .
Women should be always encouarged to date men who support the cause of women while men should be respected for choosing such women.

By Jahooli Devi

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